CONCEALED CARRY, RIGHT ON RED, LOW STANDARDS AND THE TALENT POOL

I guess I'd feel a little bit better about our wannabe concealed carry types taking to the training if there was even a smidge of an indication our citizens have mastered 'Right on Red, After Stop'. We've only had 42 years to master the "right on red" thing and generations of Illinoisans have continued proudly to not even vaguely stop before hooking a right. Maybe as a people, we're just too stupid and undisciplined to routinely put yet another weapon into our collective hands.

In a possibly related story, I noticed some of our non-advanced school board members were in favor of de-incentivizing AP classes. Great, guys, let's make sure nobody flies too high through hard work and a keen intellect.

THE DEATH OF SECRET BALLOTING: THE ROAD TO HELL PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS

OK, Goody, Goody--the legislature is going to order a special election. It's kind of like ordering a pizza only more expensive, you can't tip the driver and you can't recycle the packaging.

Here's the real fun: There's a crowd in Springfield who wants to have a Senatorial Primary the same day as the municipal election.

OK, pop quiz. What's the difference between a primary and a general.........That's right! The guy down here to my left in the pocket protector has it! In the primary you have to call for a ballot.

How about that kiddies?

So here would be the scenario on April 7 "Hi, I'm Alice, I'll be your Election Judge Today. Here's your general election ballot upon which you don't have to identify a party. We're running a special today and you can have another ballot. You can help pick who your next US Senator will be while our country is in crisis. All you have to do is identify your party preference, which will of course, have nothing to do with your right to vote secretly for whomever you want in the general election and your selection of a party will, of course, not give anybody any clues about whom you might have preferred in this general election. Oh, and pay no attention to your silly neighbors who wouldn't come vote at all because they didn't wish to declare a party. Some people are just so private and finicky about a little mark in an oval! Machine's by the door. Don't forget to register for the door prize!"

Great idea, this.

THREE STATE TOUR: COMMON ECONOMIC THREAD

Life took me to three foreign states last few days. They all have one thing in common: They may not have enough money to keep their battered womens' shelters open. As one who has been in the belly of the beast that is criminal justice, I can tell you we don't want to go back to the days where abused women have no options.

Very depressing.

VIEW FROM THE ROAD: SUNDRY

Not very many election days find me out of town but it was safe to leave today.

I guess a few of the local newsies were having trouble with the concept that HB687 has nothing to do with "concealed carry."

Governor of Louisiana is a beautiful, gifted speaker but he needs to practice teleprompter. It's amazing how people go totally sing-song when they get one of those gizmos in front of them.

Local GOP primary barely showed a pulse. Imagine how much money we could could have saved if they just let Greg Baise's polling company pick the winner. Soon Greg's gonna learn where the city limits are. In the meantime, the local GOP seems to worship at his results anyhow.

Why do parties commission polls and leak them? I thought they were pretty much planning tools that were used internally. Silly me.

Talk about economic downturns! Manny Ramirez was offered $45M to play for two years for the Dodgers. He turned it down, the economy's in the tank and Manny's still unemployed. So far his agent has earned six percent of zero. Unless, of course, something happened today while I was at work.

Second ward Alderman contest was a race between two really good men. The unsuccessful candidate will continue to be a great credit to his family and his community.

My trip involved a look into the practice of human genome analysis. I don't understand most of what I saw but here's one thing I do know. I watched $10,000.00 in medical research take place in LESS THAN ONE SECOND. That's one Hell of an hourly rate!

WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC--A BAD IDEA BORN OF BAD BEHAVIOR

Hey, kids! They're playing the World Baseball Classic this year. You remember the World Baseball Classic, doncha? They started it up in 2006. Its motto was "Don't think about Steroids! Have Fun!"

They've Changed the motto this year. It's "Don't think about Human Growth Hormone! Enjoy the World Series in December with Santa!"

Not sayin' some of the games won't be fun but it's a high price to pay for the injuries and the weather which will surround the '09 World Series.

Maybe Pat Quinn will call on Bud to resign.

SPRINGFIELD: THIS JUST IN! OUTTA TOWN BEFORE SUNDOWN

It is now official. All Illinois elected officeholders have called upon all other officeholders to resign immediately. The reasons for this demand are simple.

Rod Blagojevich is a bad man.

Special Elections are swell things and fuzzily democratic.

Great, Folks. Thanks for sharing.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PROFESSIONAL POKER PLAYER AND A SUPREME PIZZA

........"The pizza can feed a family of four"

(told to me by a friend from out west who is a professional player and is feeling the economy contract.)

EXOTIC MORTGAGES: THE CRISIS YET TO COME

Mr. President, with all due respect, when it comes to our mortgage crisis, you really see only the small tip of a very large, nasty iceberg and your $50M proposal proves it. There's another wave of financing failures out there that really can be prevented.

Let's do it this way: Here are two real homeowning families, both current on their mortgages and yet both in desperate trouble. These house holds make about $80K (assuming they keep their jobs) and are well employed. In 2005 and 2006, respectively they bought $200K houses--well within the recommendation by budgeteers that your home should cost no more than 2.5 years of your income. One got a ten year balloon mortgage with a four year ARM. His payments have been $870.00/mo. In May the will go to a few pennies under $2000.00. The other guy was sold the worst possible mortgage vehicle, An interest-only double ARM. Of course the argument for the Interest Only vehicle was that the property would go up in value and the buyer could use the "profit" for a flip or a takeout. He has adjusted once, from $1100. to $2000.00. He will adjust again in September to God Knows What and, despite being current with every dime he has been required to pay he has paid not a cent of equity toward his "ownership" in the Home.

These are such good citizens that they have maintined their obligations to the lendors. They're not behind. They are not "jeopardy" cases by anyone's standards right now. Both homes are now worth about $160K. Both homeowners would hang onto the properties if a conventional mortgage were available as a takeout. They would then either take their punishment at the tail end of their ownership (when they would have some equity, even at the lower price) or get saved by another upward readjustment in the Real Estate market. Either option would be sustainable. In fact, even if the FMV of the homes dropped lower in, say 15 years, the diminution would be sustainable, so long as the mortgage payment was in the 35% range of the household's income.

The legislation proposed would not help these good people at all or in time. A guaranteed takeout loan program is a great idea. One that only helps people (and I mean no criticism of them) who aren't paying per their agreement but ignores compliant but completely screwed homeowners is an abomination. Make the program available to everyone who (1) has an exotic mortgage they can no longer wheel because of the ARM provisions, (2) Who have lost, through death or the economy more than a third of their income or (3) to anyone with sufficient income to make reasonable mortgage payments whose underlying residential real estate has lost more than 15 % of its FMV.

The program would work pretty much like the old student loan program. The Gov't would not have to put up any money on the front end, just guarantee the loans. Defaults would be handled by the bank and the government would simply insure the shortfall if any.

Mr. President, this is pretty much what you were describing yesterday, except you seem to leave out the compliant people who are in need of a takeout and need it because of what has ocurred in the Real Estate Market and/or because of the goofy exotic they were sold.

In other words, if you're going to have a program at all, don't exclude the people who have behaved most honorably and responsibly once they stupidly signed on the dotted line. It is not only the right thing to do but the only way to avoid a secondary collapse of the Home Market.

Bloghost's Note: Yes, I have criticized folks in exotics for not seeking counsel before signing the most important documents of their lives. I don't back away from that. Still, the new program would take out recklessly uncounseled people who are underperforming. The rationale for not taking out recklessly uncounseled people who are in fact performing escapes me. The signature is the stupid act. Rescuing people who did the stupid act and then failed to live with their bargain and not rescuing those who did the stupid act and then lived honorably with their burden looks first like rewarding some who chose to make themselves victims, twice, and a failure to acknowledge that the Real Estate market needs funded buyers to effectively redefine itself (the best buyer being someone who actually pays).

TAZE THE CHIMP, BRO'!

Chimp attacks woman. Owner stabs chimp and really, really annoys him. Chimp rampages 'hood. Police respond. Chimp charges police car. Tasers are back at HQ. Policeman righteously shoots and kills chimp.

Damn shame but I'm not gonna go all PETA about it. Still, I don't like that the police were missing a critical tool in their toolbox for this event.

Putting aside that wild animals tend to do wild things, the moral of the story is that Tasers are really good gadgets to have in the field, as opposed to standing by at some other location.

RICH MILLER RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE THIS TIME

For any number of reasons, I have been critical of Capital Fax a time or two over the last, say, five years.

Again, this being "Fair's Fair" day, his work today on the Burris testimony and the hopelessly unstructured nature of Durkin's questioning and Burris' response since is balanced and constructive. If you look at the transcript, you are driven to the conclusion that the next question from the Durkster was going to be "If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, will the squirrels get hurt?"

FAIR'S FAIR

Leslie Swick has mastered the term "salmonella".

I have no idea whether our comments had anything to do with it but you have to admire somebody who works at self-improvement.

CHISTMAS, FOURTH OF JULY, U.S. OPEN SUNDAY AND......

........The day Amazon.com tells me my Baseball Prospectus Annual has been SHIPPED!

.......Wait a minute, Mr. Postman.......(cue "mail" music)....exit stage right.

JUDD SCOPES IT OUT--A LESSON IN "QUICK STUDY"

When it comes to being facile, Judd is.....uh....tall.

He accepts a cabinet post in a democrat administration. Only when he actually goes to the office does the light bulb go off that ......gasp!.....all the undersecretaries are democrats. Who knew?

Then, in his best imitation of Jason Bourne, he masters the turf. It only took him three days to discern that the President's advisors might have something to say about who would occupy high level census positions. I mean, you can't fool Judd, he was on it like a duck on a June bug.

Anyhow, after discovering all this stuff that he couldn't have possibly known any other way, he "unaccepted" the appointment.

A man of great principle, possibly born without nerve endings, utterly devoid of ability to grasp the implications of his acceptance.

ANAL--LOG: LOGIN OR LOGOUT?

OK, first, I get that it's a regulated industry and the airwaves belong to the people and all that stuff.

But the stations are still owned by people who risk their own American Dollars trying to make a profit selling time and space on a shrinking entertainment/information medium. Just for example of shrinkage: who gets news from TV anymore?

For ten years the Gov't has been telling the station owners what the shutdown day would be. Owners have invested and maintained accordingly. I think the nice folks at KHQA would tell you that their analog gear is being held together with wishes, paper clips and duct tape, praying for February 17 to come. Everything they have spent and planned has been pegged to that date.

A couple of weeks ago, Congress allowed stations to continue broadcasting in analog, if they wanted, but didn't require them to do so. The mandatory shutdown date was moved to June Somethingorother. Now, all of a sudden, the FCC seems to be saying "wait not just allowed to continue....you're mandated to continue."

In some cases, I don't think it's gonna work. The gear just won't make it another few months. If the stations have to repair it, they may have difficulty borrowing the money (FCC: News Flash--the lending thang isn't going too well).

To what end? So maybe less than one percent of the populace won't get an emergency warning that they could get on the radio? To be sure the representative one of the local stations (an otherwise really nice guy) is recently getting a little stuffy, testy and elitist about this. Still this same guy busted his hump to educate everybody on what needs to be done and I know he's generous with his time in one-on-one situations. The government payed for most of a converter box or two. Some group (can't remember who) was giving converter boxes to elderly and impoverished analog users. Just about anybody who is a "victim" of this changeover is a victim because he/she wants to be.

If the real reason for this changeover is to make more bandwidth for public safety, as advertised and that will make us all safer, why should we wait to be safer? Let the stations whose ana is logging (off) switch out on February 17 and let's all reprogram our tuners on February 18 and be safer sooner (and get a better picture and more channels over the air to boot!)

We're from the Government. We're here to help you. Sure, Bunky. Thanks.

VALUE-FREE QUESTIONS ABOUT A TRILLION DOLLARS

In Bengies, How much space would a Trillion take up?

How many TUMI backpacks would it take to carry it off?

If a Visa Card were issued for this amount, what metal would it be, Plutonium?

Would it load onto a gift card?

If it came from out of town and was a contribution to a Mayoral Campaign, would that be a problem?

Is there anybody on the planet (other than the US Gov't) who could borrow it on a signature?

Debit or Credit?

ISRAEL ELECTION INCONCLUSIVE: AMBIGUITY ABOUT WHO RUNS CENTRAL GOVERNMENT........

........Scalia en route.

A-ROD: GOOD NEWS FOR BASEBALL

Pretty simple. Baseball had no rules. He cheated. Baseball instituted penalties and testing. He probably quit. Not perfect but about the same as the NFL, which has been banning substances since I was about 12.

He didn't point fingers, fail to habla or Duck the question.

Progress.

LOCAL MEDIA DIVISION OF "PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!

Leslie Swick does a perfectly fine job as a news anchor but couldn't she just learn to pronounce "Salmonella?"

Leslie, you're killin' me here.

NEWSEUM, INNOVATION AND FORGOTONIA

Newseum has the coolest on line feature. This big map pops up and you click on the City you're interested in and headlines pop up for the major newspaper(s) from that metro. Very cool.

Note: none the Quincy Organs are on it. You can get the the Hawkeye, though. Wonder if this is a Newseum thing or a Quincy thing.

DEPARTMENT OF REDUNCANCY DEPARTMENT ANNEX

Area medical provider ad on Television--Dr. states their patients include "Young Pediatric patients..."

Query: Are there any old pediatric patients?

TOMMY BOY

Limo and driver? How about just a reserved parking place?

Richardson and Daschle, huh?

Was there a soft vet and a hard vet here, depending upon who the nominee may have been?

COMCAST TEAM MEETING: NO GOOD CAN COME OF THIS

There is a sign on the ComCast HQ building that says the office will be closed next Tues. for an "All Employee" meeting. Wonder whether the number of "All Employee(s)" will be the same after the meeting as it was before.

They don't need a meeting to discuss how to raise prices or provide crappy service--"just keep doing what you're doing, Boys and Girls."--so there has to be some major strategic purpose for this conclave. My guess is something like "The front desk is now in Macomb."

Happy Tuesday, ComCasters.