Monday, September 29, 2008

DEBATE HANGOVER: THE "WHAT?" FACTOR

Ol' Jimbo asked them both clearly whether they favored the $700B rescue package. Both took the opportunity to make swell list of stuff they liked and didn't like and nobody answered the question. At least Obama said "we're waiting for language".

Later, the house Repubs deftly made it moot. I think they might have gotten it right. One either believes in a free market or one doesn't. Surely woulda been fun to watch McCain and Obama blame each other for the bad parts of the bill in Senate Debate though.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

MORE FUNNY IDIOMS FROM THESE AMERICANS

Something "Played a Role" in an outcome or it "Was a Factor".

Somehow, we've gotten that into it "Played a Factor"

Sure, Bunky

Thursday, September 25, 2008

FUNNY IDIOMS FROM THESE AMERICANS

Kleenex, Puffs, whatever. 95% of are used for nose-blowing. yet we call these little snot repositories "Facial Tissues." Quaint.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

BAILOUT MANIA: GREAT IDEA FOR A BUYOUT/RESCUE PACKAGE FOR THE FEDS

We can get them in on the ground floor of the OLC, cheap.

Monday, September 22, 2008

OUR HEROIC PARTNERS, THE PAKISTANIS---

------fixing slurpee machines, fighting terrorism and shooting at American helicopters.

Sure is a good thing Shrubbie sent them all that money....guys have done everything but air condition Osama's cave.

Friday, September 19, 2008

NEW YORK, WASHINGTON: IMAGINE IF PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES JUST SAID......

........Hey folks, this is just the market correcting itself. It's a great time to buy! Capitalism's a great thing. Jump in! Get your feet wet!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

DADDY, TELL ME WHY.........

The citizens of the USA bailed out AIG?

Monday, September 15, 2008

ANOTHER CHICAGO INNOVATION; THE 12 DAY PITCHING ROTATION

It's working out pretty well so far.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

GLOBAL POSITIONING

Watched some of the morning political talk shows on the Computer between stops today.

Does it make any difference whether Governor Palin was 250 feet inside Iraq or 250 Yards inside Iraq--Did those 500 feet make any difference in her grasp of foreign policy?

Please, in this "most important election of our century.." make the chickenshit stop!

I'm not saying Palin's being picked on or is greatly qualified or is not greatly qualified but could we, just once, talk about stuff that matters....even a little?

Friday, September 12, 2008

IT'S OFFICIAL: THE HURRICANES HAVE INTERRUPTED THE ROTATION OF THE EARTH

No Razorbacks/Longhorns.

This wouldn't be happening if James Street were still in the saddle.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

BACK TO THE 90'S

The major league season has been interrupted and OJ's on trial.

I've read this screenplay before.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

WE ARE TESTED IN LIFE MANY WAYS: OLE BARRY'S NOT DOING WELL ON THE FIRST FEW QUESTIONS HERE

God Bless young Barry Obama, he ran as a different kind of politician, a spiritual leader, not like those other folks (Especially those Yesterday Clintons). Well, great! This country needs some new and more spiritual leadership, somebody who will remind us we're going up or down together. Barry won with that--as they say in Australia, "Good on ya, mate!"

Now, for whatever reason, the star of McCain/Palin is rising, their comfort and likability ratings are ascending. When faced with that, a "regular" politician, not a spiritual leader, new age guy, would do everything he could to drive the other team's negatives up--the oldest trick in the book, when name recognition and approval go up, drive the negatives up with them.

A new age leader wouldn't do that. He'd just keep telling people we are in this together, this is "our time". Certainly our spiritual model would not stoop to tawdry driving up negatives.

So that is the test. Barack Obama, spiritual, new age leader (and I mean that as a compliment) would just keep telling his story and uplift the people. Barry Obama, successful but ordinary, mainstream politician would drive up negatives. It's a fork in the road, to be Barry or to be Barrack?

Yesterday he was Barry. I hope he comes to his senses. Every second he talks about Sarah Palin and whether she's a maverick or not is a second he's not only "off message" but "off personality"

Monday, September 08, 2008

SPRINGFIELD: ILLINOIS DNR--LAST ONE OUT, TURN OUT THE LIGHTS

Close all State Parks and Historic Sites: fabulous idea from NimRod.

Judy Baar Topinka, you should be ashamed of yourself for ever letting this happen.

NEW YORK: AMERICAN CAPITALIST DON'T LIKE GOVERNMENT CONTROLS: EXCEPT WHEN THEY DO

Dow's up three hundred because Uncle Sugar took over Fannie Fox and Freddy Krueger. But I thought.......Oh, never mind!

Sunday, September 07, 2008

THR RIP CITY LIQUIDATORS' TRAVELING SALVATION SHOW PLAYS QUINCY

Observations from the OLC "Liquidators" extravaganza:

Authenticity--I wonder what percentage of the watches and other items were knockoffs. I'd be shocked if it were anything under eighty.

Warmth--If there were any way the vendors could have been more rude and abusive, I can't think of it. If someone asked them a question about their merch, the standard response was "we're cutting deals here!"--as in "pay up or get out!"

Stuff--wonder who owned this crap before it was "liquidated"? Wonder if the guys selling have any ownership interest in it at all.

Bathing-- Would have been a good idea for all staff but particularly the "greeter" at the door. Good idea to have exact change because he picks his nose before he hands back change.

Armament--CrossBows, Oriental Swords, Kendo sticks, nunchaks, throwing stars and Bowie knives. Given that half of the audience when I was there consisted of convicted felons, I'd say Quincy now has the best armed criminal contingent of any downstate city. But, By God, the liqies made sure they didn't sell that stuff to anyone under 18. What a show of responsibility.

Bait and Switch--A few years ago, we had a responsible liquidation company come to town occasionally. Their people were presentable, their sales presentation orderly and mostly they spoke English. Maybe those people sold out. Maybe these people are imposters. Beats me. All I know is that I used to worry when the Carnies came to town. If had to choose between these folks again and the Carnies, bring on the Carnies.

Glad I saw it because I couldn't have believed it. I hope it was a big payday for the OLC because it was not much of a community event.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

WHEW! BEAT MARILYN MONROE BY "THAT MUCH"

It's official. The Razorbacks are better than QU.

This is not encouraging.

THE BONDS OF SISTERHOOD ONLY GO SO FAR: OPRAH LOCKS DOWN HER SHOW

As nearly as I can recall, I have never watched a full segment, let alone a full program of Oprah Winfrey's. It seems to me, Kathy Lee Crosby went on the show to explain how she wasn't an exploiter of children in China, Sri Lanka and Vietnam, she just played one on TV and I saw some of that in a Hotel somehwere, maybe on an elevator TV.

Her show might be great. She might be great. Works for me.

But feet of clay pop out in funny ways. First, it rings hollow that she won't have the first woman candidate for Vice President on her show. Her show is supposed to be about uplifting women. SPalin is fairly obviously a woman. Even if just to ask, "how do you get it all done?" it seem like a no-brainer to give women a look at someone who has raised children and obviously succeeded, not to mention in a harsh, demanding climate. So that's disconnect number one.

Disconnect number two is Oprah's insistent that Palin coming on the show "has not been discussed." OK, let's forget that Palin is the most prominent female in american news right now. Forget that any producer worth his/her salt would be saying "let's get Palin on soon!". Focus on this, if wasn't discussed, how was it determined that Palin wouldn't be in? Burning Bush? Stone Tablet from Dr. Phil.

Maybe this isn't a big enough deal to call hypocrisy. But it's damn sure dishonest. Come on, Oprah, if you've vetoed the idea because you don't want to give her air time, say so. Don't say it's never been discussed. A deeply engaged team like yours couldn't help but discuss it. Nothing wrong with being for a candidate, just say so.

For clarity, I don't give a rip whether Palin is on Oprah. I just don't like somebody powerful thinking that something is so because she says it's so.

How does an Oprah fan believe her about anything else when she can't be honest about this?

Friday, September 05, 2008

ST. PAUL: AT LEAST JOHNNY MAC CAN PROUNOUNCE "NUCLEAR"--BUT THERE'S THIS ONE ICKY LITTLE DETAIL

Drill, wind, solar, flex, even alternative (which we all know McCain hates), all the usual suspects came up, plus one: nuclear power.

As soon as we clear one thing up, I'm one hundred percent in favor of nuclear power plants being fast tracked. All we gotta do first is have a final and irrevocable decisions about where we're gonna put the waste. Nothin' to it. Just get that decided, so there's no more legislative wars, no more lawsuits and no more dispute. Then nuke 'em till they glow. Oh, wait, that's a different application! Just nuke 'em until the porch light goes on.

Let us know when that waste Thangy gets decided.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

CHICAGO PLAYOFF MATH: THE Z AXIS

Tendonitis, right rotator cuff area, oral anti-inflammatory, week's rest.

Harden, nothing wrong, it just feels cool to give him two weeks between starts.

Kevin Hart has been called up, not because two starters and a key middle reliever are injured but just because he's such a nice kid and the Ivy is so pretty this time of year.

Tinker Bell will also be joining the team in a September callup from Neverland for late-inning baserunning and sprinkling fairy dust on Sean Marshall's arm as he takes both of their starts for the rest of the year.

ARRRRRRRRRRGH!

DEPARTMENT OF ELIMINATING REDUNDNANCY, REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT

A far away court in which I practice and file electronically sent by email an important notice entitled

"ELIMINATION OF REDUNDANCY"

I got three of them.

Update: fourth identical notice came last night!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

THE WRONG SPEECH--DELIVERED BEAUTIFULLY

The drill was to say "Here's who I am and here's what I stand for and here's how I can help John McCain."

Instead, she drilled community organizers, argued for bad speakers over eloquent speakers and did what McCain had said was "Off Limits", disrespect the opponents.

I'm watching the foxies all moisten their undies but let's wait a week or so and see how this polls out. My hunch is the disaffected Clinton voters were looking for a standard bearer and not an attack dog.

The pretty family and the street-smart cracks really didn't look consonant to me.

TO ALL THE GOOD PEOPLE WHO TRIED TO HELP THE "Q"

There are so many of you and you all tried so hard, I ache for you that he has finally fulfilled what he must long ago have decided was his destiny: prison.

He was a kid. He didn't understand. The Cops overreacted on the first one. He didn't have a decent upbringing. He has so much good in him. Life's hard for a black kid in Quincy. I heard 'em all. And so you helped. You helped in so many ways that the public will never know about that you should be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.

You are all unspeakably good people. But the youngster, in the end, wasn't worthy of your support. Call it hard headedness, cultural deprivation, bad seed. You mitigated the effect of the system on him and gave him a chance. It's not on you. It's on him. In the end, it meant more to him be "of the street" than it did to be a productive member of the community. Your human kindness was abused, but God Bless you for having it.

Heal first. Then take another risk on another kid. He doesn't have to be black and he doesn't have to high profile. Just a kid who needs a mature friend.

This is a terrible week for all of you. You did the lord's work. Maybe the final chapter of your story as Samaritan has not yet been written. You have done a great thing and been betrayed. Don't stop being great.

My sympathy and my admiration go out to you.

DO ME A FAVOR AND DON'T DO ME A FAVOR

Don't send me an e-card. It doesn't matter how safe it is or how cute it is.

The link stays in the spam filter until it dies a natural death.

Just send me an email that said you couldn't get to the Card Factory Outlet Store. I'll understand.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

THOSE WHO DO NOT STUDY HILLARY ARE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT

(I have been urged by many decent, thoughtful people not to post this view because it is so utterly tasteless--The fantastic combination of luck and skill recently demonstrated by usually Goofy John McCain now renders it topical. To those of you who find it tasteless, I ask you to consider "Is it accurate?")

Much has been made of Hillary Clinton's disappointment at not getting the nomination. Surely, that was a blow. But she's still wealthy, a Senator from an important state and will be the filter through which all Supreme Court Justices must pass for about twenty years (She has good age genes). Her situation is a lot better than, say, OJ Simpson's.

What about the people who brought about her disappointment? How was their 2008?

Iowa -- Under Water

Teddy -- Brain Cancer

Tim (in the tank) Russert -- Dead

Maybe I'm just looking at this wrong but it doesn't seem to me to be a good idea to annoy Hillary Clinton.

Monday, September 01, 2008

THE "COMFORTABLE NEIGHBOR GIRL" IS BACK

Had this friend when I was in my early teens. Her name was Patti. Patti, was pretty, I guess. Patti was fun. She lived fairly close to my house and we rode bikes and shot guns together.

She now writes legitimate novels in French and is married to an Italian chest surgeon. They live in Monte Carlo or someplace that's not Marblehead.

Anyhow, in the summers we'd swim, shoot guns, ride bikes, scooters, horses and even play tennis. Sometimes there'd be a large group, sometimes just the two of us. Nearly as I can remember, we never had anything which could be described as a "date". About the middle of every September, Patti would leave for High School in Switzerland. She would always say something endearing like "I wish I could come back to see you.......during pheasant season!". Patti was a great friend and, no matter how much my Mother tried to make it more than that, not anything else. We had great summers and early Autumns together.

Then, it happened. (No.......Not THAT). While she was away in Switzerland, around Halloween of our Junior year in HS, her family moved away. The idea of riding the countryside and going to the rifle range without Patti that next summer was pretty painful. We had enjoyed a lot of fun for a lot of years. Suddenly that was just going be gone.

But, one's senior year is busy and I put it aside. I did notice that nobody else moved into her parents' empty house. Somehow I took comfort in that.

As graduation approached, I thought about it a bit. I had a girlfriend and I had people to swim with, shoot with and people to ride horses and motorscooters with. Still, the upcoming summer had a bleak feeling to it.

It wasn't till I walked across the stage to pick up my diploma when things picked up. There was Patti in the audience, watching all the folks she'd gone to grade school with. We found each other after the ceremony and at the parties afterward. Her parents had moved back into the house. She had two new guns with upgraded scopes she couldn't wait to show me. Could I come over Monday and we'd go to the range and sight them in. Are a snakes thighs close to the ground?

We swam, shot and rode that whole summer, as much as my many menial jobs and baseball schedule allowed. It was a summer just like the other summers, meaning she was an important part of my life, an uncomplicated buddy who shared my interests and simply enjoyed sharing time together. It still wasn't romantic. I don't think we ever touched each other except to help with shooting positions. Still, It was just a great feeling to have her back in the sphere where I felt she belonged. Heck, even my girlfriend was happy because they were buddies in their own right.

Anyhow, I tell you that long story to tell you I have exactly the same feeling for the new alignment of SportsCenter. Hannah Storm is back where she belongs. Talking about sports knowledgeably without the overbearing pseudotestosterone of the fox women or the goofy deference to the men that you see on CSN. Having Hannah back is just like having Patti back. A valued companion is back where she should be. This is gonna be a good fall sports season. It's not often a valued companion is gone and returns.