CHICAGO PLAYOFF MATH: THE Z AXIS

Tendonitis, right rotator cuff area, oral anti-inflammatory, week's rest.

Harden, nothing wrong, it just feels cool to give him two weeks between starts.

Kevin Hart has been called up, not because two starters and a key middle reliever are injured but just because he's such a nice kid and the Ivy is so pretty this time of year.

Tinker Bell will also be joining the team in a September callup from Neverland for late-inning baserunning and sprinkling fairy dust on Sean Marshall's arm as he takes both of their starts for the rest of the year.

ARRRRRRRRRRGH!