SCOOTER AND THE WHITE HOUSE/ILLEGALS IN THE MISSOURI STATEHOUSE

These phenomena are the same thing, wrapped differently. The State of Missouri used outsourced illegals to keep the statehouse clean.

The White House outsourced Scooter to keep anybody from learning more about the cleanup job that's needed in the administration.

It's just the natural harmony of the political universe.

Now if we could just get Joe Wilson over his fear of cameras and microphones, everything would be swell, give or take a foreign occupation and a possible pandemic.

KENNY'S GONNA START WATCHING OUR BORDERS. GOLLY, THANKS KENNY

Just heard Hulshof's paid advertising. Kenny, I'm so pleased you're gonna clean up the immigration mess. Who's been in charge of the congress during your time there? What took so long for the light bulb to go on?

FARM BUREAU PUCKER FACTOR

Don't pretend to understand Missouri politics but I see Bullet Behnen on television (honestly looking slightly less subhuman than Cauthorn the Police Interceptor) every 15 seconds and pounding on 'Good Gummint' candidate Wes Shoemyer. All of a sudden Shoemyer seems to be hitting back and standing up for himself.

While all this fun has been going on, the Farm Bureau has once again shown itself to be a lapdog for the Republican party, endorsing Behnen who only goes to farm to film obligatory gun scenes for his ads.

Let's close our eyes and imagine what happens if the Farm Bureau picks the wrong horse. You think Shoemyer makes nice with them or picks his own spots on farm and rural legislation? I think he's term limited anyway, he can probably do the whole time in office without them, once elected and the juggernaut Farm Bureau is odd man out. It's fun to think about anyway.

LOCAL POLITICS DOT COM--MISSOURI STATE REPRESENTATIVE RACE: BEAU KNOWS--BUT HE'S NOT TELLING

OK, I can't stand it anymore. Beau Hicks decided to challenge the incumbent. High Profile Race. Well Known Guy. Incumbent backed by area cult figure. All the earmarks of a Near-Duckworth experience. Except Beau has gone undercover. It could be he's trying to learn to say "Gummint" before he hits the trail.

So here's the deal, Beau. 300 words or less to our unnews cold line, abcforvictims@justice.com on why you should represent the folks of NEMO in Jeff City. I will post them, without comment for our vast NEMO readership to consider. If your opponent wants to rebut them (same rules), I'll post his rebuttal in the same post, without simultaneous comment.

The price is right. No charge for either of you. Get your message out. Highly sophisticated market research indicates that 100% of our readership votes.

This is an effort to achieve Good Gummint!

MISSOURI: STATE SENATE

Missouri's NE Senate Race has been fun to watch. The Republican is from Central Casting, Gun Pictures, Tort "Reform", Nose Planted in Chamber's "position papers". But the Democrat has a Secret Weapon. He pronounces Government, "Gummint". How can a guy lose in NE Mo., when he says "Gummint"?