CHICAGO AND DES MOINES BASEBALL: THREE WORDS A PROFESSIONAL PITCHER NEVER WANTS TO HEAR

Exploratory.......Shoulder........Surgery


Good Luck, Mark Prior.

BOWIE KUHN: A HERITAGE AS BAD AS NIXON

Commissioner Bowie Kuhn died yesterday and, implausible as it may seem, probably someone actually loved him and is grieving. I'm sorry for that. I also try to find something good to say about a person who passes on. Unfortunately, in the case of Bowie's public life, it was impossible.

He presided over the first substantial work stoppage in modern MLB. In the words of Furman Bisher "This wouldn't have happened if Bowie Kuhn were alive today" (Bowie was, of course, alive and Commissioner at the the time.)

He moved the World Series games to late prime time instead of day time, thus cutting out viewing opportunities for more than two thirds of the USA's children. Is it any wonder that's about the time soccer took hold as a summer sport?

Finally, he arranged for the fans to "vote" on the All- Star team, that is, to vote as many times in as many ways as is humanly possible, without restriction, leading to ballot box stuffing that makes Cook County look like Ding-Dong School.

I'm sure he probably used the right fork at supper and wouldn't be surprised if he brushed and flossed regularly but his heritage is 1) weak or no leadership during labor tensions; 2) taking the Fall Classic away from the children of America; and 3) a chaotic, uncontrolled election for participation in what was then a treasured event.

Rest in peace, which is pretty much what you did as Commissioner.

BASEBALL WRITERS ON CRACK: NO ROOM IN THE HALL FOR GOSSAGE?

The Hall of Fame Voting has always had a built-in bias against relievers but Gossage not getting in is ridiculous. The question you have to ask is "During his prime years, was he preeminent at his position." Uh, yeah.

These idiots were so busy whaling on McGwire they forgot to put in the most deserving guy on the ballot at his position. It's time to consider taking the exclusive decision-making away from baseball writers. There should be alternative ways for deserving candidate to get in without waiting 20 years to be considered by the veterans committee (which is also a joke but that's another post.)

Cal Ripken was very deserving, as was Tony Gwynn, but Gossage was better at his position than Ripken was at his.

SORIANO

For now, let's skip the part about where they will play him.

This kind of signing only makes sense in two contexts. First, if you are intentionally trying to make your team impossible to sell, jack up payroll--TribCo saving itself from its impulse to sell off "parts". Second, a high impact offensive player helps a team with starting pitching, meaning you only make this deal knowing you still have an excellent chance to tie up two good starters (Wood's a flyer. Miller is one, Hill is .5, Z is one. Short 2.5 starting pitchers. Long way to go.).

Also you have to believe that they have thoroughly vetted his birth certificate. Remember George Bell? Turns out he was older than Cool Papa Bell.

PSYOPS IN THE WORLD SERIES

Imagine the impact of something like this:

Starting pitcher puts a little Nu-skin (legal) on his hand and makes sure there's a little dirt stuck to it. Just as the game is starting, an executive of the home team tips a cameraman to the dark spot on the pitcher's hand. TV shows it. Predictably, members of both clubs are back in the warm ramp watching the game on TV. They bring the brown spot to the Manager's attention. But now the side is out. When the pitcher returns, there's nothing on his hand but the opposing manager is out talking about it. The visitors spend the next seven innings looking for evidence of illegal pitches and neglect to get any hits.

Contacted later, George Tenent states it's a "slam dunk" Rogers was using pine tar. Rumsfeld and Condi argue for an occupation of Detroit.