WHERE'S BALCO WHEN YOU REALLY NEED 'EM?

The PGA Tour has suspended its first player for violation of its drug policy, presumably for using performance-enhancing drugs. The suspension is for one year.

Here's the punch line. The guy made it into one PGA Tour event and missed the cut. He made it into four Nationwide tour events (the minor league "developmental" tour), missed three cuts and was disqualified in the fourth. "Missed Cut" and "DQ" translate to "no check".

Not only will the guy go down in history as the first drug suspension in PGA Tour History but he will forever live in infamy as the user of the worst PED cocktail in the history of sport. Should have checked with Jose Canseco and read Ken Caminitti's book.

Counseling and something in retail that requires no hand-eye coordination are options.