FRIDAY FLASH: THIS JUST IN!--CITY WORKERS BEING STALKED BY STRANGE MAN ON TRICYCLE

A known looter was spotted stalking City Workers who were diligently attempting to remove certain sawhorses following unfortunate yorking to death of an undocumented mexican bicycle rider in the 2200 block of an undisclosed Street named after a certain State. The workers are resting comfortably after being hospitalized for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The known Looter was last seen near the dumpster behind the Hy-Vee Liquor Store. Police sketch has been delayed. Yelling was heard from the investigative division, something about "Nobody could be that freaking Ugly!"

Updates to follow.