BONUS RANT -- SUPPORT YOUR SHERIFF AT HIS FUND RAISER: FROZEN TUNDRA AND THE SILLY NCAA

Before I turn in tonight I should bring two things to your attention. Tomorrow is the Sheriff's Golf Outing @ NATIVE AMERICAN NATURE WALK IN CAMP POINT. You don't have to play golf to help. Come out about five thirty (call and let them know you're coming) and eat a pork chop for whatever Fish's bargain price is. The Pig's already dead. Can't hurt anything.

Now for those of us committed to playing golf, keep in mind it's going to be Iditarod cold. One guy is going to wear shorts. DO NOT BE FOOLED. He wears shorts in freaking January! Dress in layers or they'll find your bleached bones out there around the fourth of July.

Finally, and this is really important: Indian Trails has just learned that its name is offensive to the NCAA and they cannot hold any college tournaments there. After a long talent search the NCAA found a guy who is one sixteenth Ho Indian living in Northern Idaho working at a convenience store who is deeply offended. He's never been in Camp Point and has no plans to visit, but he is very depressed about it. He has started taking antidrepressants. Unfortunately he was taking them from co-worker's purse so he no longer works at the convenience store.

As a consequence, there will soon be announced a naming contest to pick a new name for the golf course which is not offensive to Native Americans. I hereby reserve "Polish Paths" as my contest entry. My backup is "Mexican Meadows". By God, we gotta be sensitive here.