NON-POLITICAL AND PERSONAL: WORDS OF A MENTOR

Many years ago I had a mentor and role model, a silver haired elderly southern lawyer who taught me much of value. As a student, I left gobs to be desired. Some of my mentor's lessons are only now sinking in.

The Mentor and I were trying to put together a deal with a group from Texas. We needed another player with a special skill. I volunteered; "I can bring in Joe Smith from Chicago, he's a good friend!"

Patiently, my Mentor fixed his gaze on me. "Close yo' ahs," he said. I did as I was told. He instructed me to; "See the faces of each of your close frainds, one at a tahm." When I told him I had done so, he asked me to count them and hold just the total number of them in my mind. I told him I had a number in my mind (To show you how foolish I was in my mid-twenties, the number was "twelve"). "Divahde it bah two" he said, not particularly patiently or kindly; "If yo' lucky, at any gi'n tahm, ya got about haif as many good frainds as yo' thank!"

I thought this was a rather cynical view but I pursued the lesson; "OK, if that's true, how do I tell the phony half from the real half?" His eyes grew sad and I realized I was about to get the voice of experience. Slowly, his eyes even watering a little, he said; "Son, If yo' jess lissen, they ALWAYS tell ya!"

So here's to my long dead mentor and friend. His face and his words flashed into my consciousness yesterday, when somebody (thank God not a lawyer!) I had considered a friend for years--someone I have defended from countless personal attacks based upon some of his personal quirks and habits--Told me, by his conduct, loud and clear, "This relationship that you thought was one of trust and friendship--ha! It is convenient for me to exploit it now, so I will. You're disposable, Good-bye."

My mentor's wisdom having been proven again, a few thoughts linger:

1. I expect crap like this in politics, where flipping is almost a norm. I don't expect it outside of politics;

2. Good-bye, yourself, butt;

3. I would rather trust and get scorched one time than not build relationships based upon trust at all;

4. Holding grudges is bad for the soul. I won't do that.

5. Distinct from holding grudges, a false friend does not get a second round of trust. Pleasant conversation, cordial greetings, sure, but no trust;

6. What does not kill me only makes me stronger;

NOTE: the details of this particular betrayal are not important. The essential point is that is a shared human experience. Unless you live by yourself in a cave, it will happen to you, probably already has. Avarice, Ambition, Lust, Whatever, will become more important to somebody than the friendship you extend to him/her. I shared a bit about this one to help you prepare for your next one......and maybe a little bit because I know the false friend reads this blog and I want him to know exactly where he stands.

WEEKEND UPDATE: The FF has contacted me and suggested we not see each other for a while. What a concept! Like I was gonna call to cook out or shoot pool anytime soon. "I made a serious mistake" somehow didn't creep into the discussion.