Saturday, November 03, 2007

DEAR DIRTBAG: YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME!

DEAR FRIEND,

I KNOW THAT THIS MESSAGE WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE. I AM THE BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER IN BANK OF AFRICA (BOA), OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO. I HOPED THAT YOU WILL NOT EXPOSE OR BETRAY THIS TRUST AND CONFIDENT THAT I AM ABOUT TO REPOSE ON YOU FOR THE MUTUAL BENEFIT OF OUR FAMILIES.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
I NEED YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING THE SUM OF (USD$25) MILLION TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHIN 10 TO 14 BANKING DAYS. THIS MONEY HAS BEEN DORMANT FOR YEARS IN OUR BANK WITHOUT CLAIM. I WANT THE BANK TO RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEAREST PERSON TO OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER (THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT) DIED ALONG WITH HIS SUPPOSED NEXT OF KIN IN AN AIR CRASH SINCE JULY, 2000.
I DON'T WANT THE MONEY TO GO INTO OUR BANK TREASURER ACCOUNT AS AN ABANDONED FUND. SO THIS IS THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU SO THAT THE BANK CAN RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED CUSTOMER. PLEASE I WOULD LIKE YOU TO KEEP THIS PROPOSAL AS A TOP SECRET AND DELETE IT IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.
UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR REPLY, I WILL GIVE YOU FULL DETAILS ON HOW THE BUSINESS WILL BE EXECUTED AND ALSO NOTE THAT YOU WILL HAVE 30% OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED SUM IF YOU AGREE TO HANDLE THIS BUSINESS WITH ME? AND 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR ANY EXPENSES THAT WARRANT ON THE PROCESS BEFORE THE FUND GET INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT SUCH AS TELEPHONE CALLS BILLS (ETC).

BEST REGARD.
MR YUSUF MUSA.

Footnote: This slimedoggy is not even clever enough to insert a last name the same as the holder of this email. That would have been kinda funny "Mr. Basin and his next of kin were horribly killed in an air crash."

Joe, I wish you a painful but non-fatal permanent malady, scumsucker.

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6 Comments:

At 1:22 PM, November 05, 2007, Blogger THE ORACLE... said...

Gee thanks Tony. I always had a high opinion of you.

 
At 7:43 PM, November 05, 2007, Blogger UMRBlog said...

I don't know how to say 'de nada' in Nigerian.

TYFCB

 
At 7:45 PM, November 05, 2007, Blogger UMRBlog said...

Oh, I see. "Yusuf" for those of you scoring at home is Nigerian for "Joe" kind of like Josef Stalin only Nigerian.

 
At 8:58 AM, November 06, 2007, Anonymous Sean Heeger said...

advance fee scam mail. That's been going on since the early 80's (in other forms outside of e-mail obviously). Scams.Net has reading on this type of bad guy activity.

http://home.rica.net/alphae/419coal/

 
At 9:02 AM, November 06, 2007, Blogger UMRBlog said...

I wasn't suggesting it was new. Quite the contrary. It is such an evolved art that I thought this was kind of a retro example of how somebody crude and stupid does it.

TYFCB

 
At 12:38 PM, November 09, 2007, Anonymous Sean Heeger said...

Totally! It's almost second nature for most to shun these types of invitations that they get. It's just those gifted few that concern me. The ones that think this is serious business and that they should respond to them and help the scammer.

 

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