Saturday, February 06, 2010

HEAD LICE AND DISREPUTABLE NOMINEES

This is in the nature of free advice for any and all candidates sharing the ticket with the now infamous lieutenant governor nominee. At least the advice is available to the ones who have not already engaged their vocal cords.

Having a disreputable nominee on your ticket is similar to having head lice in your home. It is not especially healthy in general, but treatable. The condition is excessively complicated by other families and households knowing that your home has the condition. They then become preoccupied with contracting the condition themselves and the condition becomes as socially severe as it is physically detrimental. 

The little critters themselves really do not care what you say about them. They will take absolutely no action based upon what you say they should do or, for that matter, what you think of them. They only depart when the host becomes absolutely and biologically inhospitable.

Armed with this information, sensible people do not try to talk to the critters out of their homes or out of their hair. They take discrete, almost covert action in the privacy of their own bathrooms, kitchens and bedrooms. With no one from outside the family in attendance, they first kill the active critters with various unpleasant chemical potions. They then sanitize the environment in such a way as to deny the critter anyplace to get a toehold. Ultimately critter family responds to this discrete assault by finding a new host and a new hobby. The important parallel is that only private, targeted action gets rid of the pestilence. No amount of oratory cures head lice.
The disreputable candidate is similarly situated to the lice.  In fact he has the same "louse-ay fairre" attitude.  There are about 1 million things skilled politicians, lawyers and public officials can lawfully do to make the political environment "biologically inhospitable" for the disreputable candidate. Many of these could impact the disreputable candidate's income. Where the disreputable candidate is a high net worth person, this can ultimately induce him to find another hobby and another host.

Thus the advice for all the candidates, up and down the ballot, would be the same. Do not talk about the head lice and start every known step (and make up some new ones) to create biological inhospitality. If asked any question having to do with the head lice, reply by directing the questioner to the Head Louse and emphasizing that you, the candidate, are focused solely on the (fill in the blank) election and how best to serve the people of (fill in the jurisdiction).

And I would add the following to this commentary: to those of you who have managed not to shoot off your mouths on this topic, congratulations on your sound political judgment.

6 Comments:

At 11:30 AM, February 07, 2010, Anonymous QC Examiner said...

UMR, I always enjoy your posts for their cryptic, haiku-like quality, so what I take away from this post is that even though you are a partisan Democrat, you are denouncing the Democrat elites for speaking out against Cohen and demanding he step down.

So far Lisa Madigan, Our Accidental Governor, Rezko's Banker, Our Specially Selected Congressman, Our Dick Durbin, and even the Democrat nominee for Comptroller, David Miller, have called on Cohen to step down.

That's a veritable Who's Who of Illinois Democrat elites.

Will we be looking at another Adlai Stevenson III scenario, who ran as an independent only to be defeated by Big Jim Thompson?

Will the Democrat elites demand the will of the people be subrogated to their demands so they can just win this thing?

There's a lot to despise about Democrat controlled Illinois government, but on the other hand, the blogging material never ends! :-D

 
At 1:40 PM, February 07, 2010, Blogger UMRBlog said...

I was thinking more tactically. It just makes the candidate speaking look weaker to talk about it. It's stronger to get busy with the chemical potion and keep your mouth shut.

Moral preening is just as unattractive on one side of the aisle as the other.

And, yes, Didn't anybody learn anything from the LaRoushie caper? My party sometimes has the institutional memory of a landfilled 10 K hard drive.

TYFCB

 
At 7:59 PM, February 07, 2010, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't talk about him, but everyone lean on him a little.

He is out

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/08/us/08illinois.html

 
At 8:56 AM, February 09, 2010, Anonymous Anonymous said...

But his "girlfriend", no matter how much he was/wasn't payin her, was kind of cute... LOL

Don't hate the player, hate the .....

 
At 9:22 AM, February 09, 2010, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On to a new string --- is it any wonder that our military efforts are underwhelming when we tell the enemy what we are going to do and when we are going to do it?? From the headlines:
"U.S. and allied commanders in Afghanistan are preparing for the biggest battle of the eight-year war, knowing that its outcome will reveal the chances of success for President Obama's revamped Afghan strategy. About 20,000 U.S., British and Afghan troops will soon storm Marja, the Taliban's final redoubt in the southern province of Helmand."

Puleeese! How stupid are we??

 
At 1:44 PM, February 09, 2010, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear that argument all the time. I'm sure the Pentagon knows what it's doing, Lord knows it's had enough practice these past 70 years or so.

I'm more concerned about the fact that a major political party had it's grass roots, rock solid base convention which I've noticed several local bloggers all a tizzy over where their opening speaker called for a return to Jim Crow era voting laws. Not only that, but the odds on favorite for the 2012 nominee of that party seems to think that bombing a country is something you do to get re-elected, not to serve the interests of the nation. Good lord! Reagan where are you? Your party needs a real leader!

 

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