"SPIKE' TOPINKA DOES THE IMPOSSIBLE--MAKES BLAGO LOOK GOOD

Our governor did yesterday what he always does when he's trying to bolster his numbers, gave a speech promising new spending programs. As nearly as I can tell, he has no close advisors who would know Rockford for Rochester or Kankakee from Kaskaskia. They would never consider just letting him sit down with some journalists and talk about what is in his fairly generous and responsible heart. He soldiers on predictably, governing by speech and press conference. So why, then, didn't he lose the news cycle for what will be characterized as his obvious attempt to buy our votes with our own money?

Ah, that's where our heroine, tough gal Judy Barr "Spike" Topinka comes in. In lines ripped right out of a "B' women's prison movie, she warned the other GOP candidates not to "Mess with me". In her raspy, whiskey-and-cigarette voice, she said that three or four times to open mikes. She never really said "or what?" but I'm thinking knifing or automobile explosion, mob style. I guess she thinks she got the soccer moms so she's branching out and going after the Hell's Angels vote.

Anyhow, whatever she meant, she stole that news cycle with a monster bad impression as a unisex thug, thereby doing the impossible: made the Governor look better than he deserved. Keep it up, Spike! As remote and unengaged with the people of Illinois as Rod may seem to be, you could still manage to get him reelected. That is, if you don't expose yourself as such a thug that you get caught at the wire by Giddy/Rauschy or Obi-Whan Knobe Weiss.

Another day, we'll talk about Spike's pay-to-play running mate. One breathtakingly foolish performance a day is all I can fit in for now.